I’m 42, and I have heard all the statistics and nay-saying that goes along with being a geriatric-aged mother (yep, in the medical system I’m geriatric because I’m over 35 LOL!). And still I wanted to be a mother.

When I met my partner back in 2022, I didn’t think I was up for the challenge of a relationship. My husband of 18 years had passed the year before, and I had become aware that I might be a lot for a new partner to take on – I had my quirks, the way I liked my house to be, and I knew what it was like to be loved and respected and I wouldn’t accept anything less.

Then I met my partner.

I think we both played the “I’m only looking for some fun” game for about 2 weeks before we realised how well we clicked. Within 6 months we’d moved in together, and I had started to wonder if it was indeed too late for me to have children. I’d tried with IVF back when I was 30, and then again when I was 37 (all unsuccessfully) and had come to the uncomfortable conclusion I should just accept that motherhood wasn’t going to happen for me.

When my partner asked if I still wanted children, I had to admit that I did – though I was teaching in a primary school and absolutely LOOOOOOOOOVED it, I still wanted to experience motherhood for myself. After days of discussions, we agreed that we would try naturally, and if it didn’t happen in the next 12 months, then so be it.

A year later, and I wasn’t pregnant. I held a solo ritual and spoke to my Gods, telling them that I could see it wasn’t going to happen, and that maybe it was time I accepted it; I had a man who I adored and could see years ahead of us happy with or without children, and a teaching vocation that I would do until I retired. I was actually very blessed in my life and joys, and I gently and sadly said goodbye to motherhood.

Then I missed my period.

Yep, they say that when you stop stressing/hoping/agonising about the “thing” happening, it inevitably does. I’m now 18 weeks in, the baby belly has started to pop, and I’m finally accepting that I’m going to be a mother by the end of the year.

And my latest worry? Who can I ask to hold my Blessingway???

Did you say pregnant??